Dorian Green is much more than the artist name I release the music under. For years I wanted an element of mystique that separated the person Adam Watkins from the artist Dorian Green. But there is no more mystery to Dorian Green than there is to my life. I create music, engage, ruminate the eternal questions, perform and write as one in the same.
I grew up a pretty standard childhood in a generation that could be whatever we wanted, and I wanted (amongst other things) to play loud guitar for lots of people. I was privileged to see Pink Floyd at the age of nine, beginning a craze that could only result in being gifted my first guitar, a cherry Fender Stratocaster accompanied with all the dreams of stardom. My parents got me lessons and always facilitated however they could – just with the reminder I was not to count on music as a career.
In all honesty, I wasn’t very good those first few years of playing. Then at some point around fifteen or sixteen it began to click, and I continued to get better at a rate so that by the time I got to college I was able to turn some heads with a guitar solo. Soon after arriving I got a band together that settled on the name Deacon Greene. We started at the bottom of the barrel with our gigs, but quickly rose through the local ranks to get the best (paying) gigs around, and more importantly the respect of a city. It was the first time people I didn’t know recognized me in public. When everyone in the band had graduated it was time to sink or swim to a bigger city, but we got out of the water before doing either. While somewhat bummed to let it go, I was actually okay with the disbanding as I had my sights set beyond the scope of the college band. By this time I had already conceived much of A Symmetry and did not see the project as something that band would be fitting for anyway. So not long after, I reinvented myself as Dorian Green, the name an homage to my old band and some of my favorite literature. Everything from before was just a warmup.
It’s easy to take many things in life for granted. As one gets older, finding talented musicians willing to dedicate their time to creation becomes more challenging. The music of Dorian Green has been realized with the help and dedication of several talented friends, but I have been the only constant of the project. Most of the circumstances along the way have been less than ideal, with the other members having time constraints or lack of familiarity with the music. It has been just enough to make what I have made that is now available to you here through this site, some of which I would go so far as to say I’m proud of. But I haven’t really been proud enough of anything yet to self-promote to an extreme. Maybe I don’t have that level of self-promotion in me at all no matter what the product. Group promotion is more comfortable to me, but Dorian Green has only been a full group at fleeting moments.
The situation put tersely, I think I’ve written and produced some great music but production challenges as a solo artist have kept me from executing projects to a level of success as grand as the idea. To be clear if you’re reading this, by all means listen to the music available here I have poured my heart and soul into creating, it’s good stuff. But it was all made and produced on my own time and budget, and I often think about what it might sound like with a full recording label budget and a group of dedicated musicians. So sure, I could what-if lots of things but no matter what will keep going, making music and regular posting here on the GB. There have been millions of ideas pass through my mind that on a good day feel worthy of being a conversation here but didn’t make it to this medium. A sense of loss from that sometimes reinforces how easy it is to just let more go, and but it’s never too late for us to start talking about anything. Creation sometimes feels like it has a window of opportunity, but it doesn’t. As long as we can, we will.
I am Dorian Green. I am Adam Watkins, a bleeding heart musician, surely the protagonist of a secret midnight showing somewhere, a golden boy, the dark horse living some destiny of strange design. I’m incredibly grateful while bewildered at all I’ve been given and always hope to make the most of everything. The result of that should find its way here. The only two things I’ve ever been certain I was supposed to do was create music to share and really, truly love someone. I’m blessed enough to have both, the only missing piece currently is performance. So maybe this is a verbose way for me to commit to making that happen, for which I’d have to expand the scope of Dorian Green, which is what we were presumably talking about before, and make it something to keep talking about.