A great teacher of mine once explained writing as: Say what you’re going to say, say it, say what you said. I couldn’t tell you all how many times I sit down to work on music, see the Golden Braid, think about how much I have to say, then never typing a word. It builds and builds and I’d like to think it ends up in the music, but many words seem to be crushed under the wait of life’s pressures. New Years is a common time for attempting change. Of course, it’s just a day like any other. There is no open door on January 1st that is otherwise closed. There are many reasons why people might choose this time for resolution, such as the dawning realization you’ve spent another year doing the same bullshit behavior you swore off long ago.
The reality for me is I have so much discontent for the amount of blessings in my life, which are ample. Since creating the Golden Braid about five years ago I’ve had a lifetime’s worth of blessings, and even having been happy at times. Little of this is the life I imagined, and hey, who really is living the life they pictured? Sometimes visions come to reality, there’s a distinct feeling of realization that just happens. I guess most of us learn what they meant by “then one day you find, ten years have gone behind you.”
Are we still doing this? The renaissance life was a commitment, a calling, a destiny. Over time, priorities shift just like your parents said they would. Fuck! Does it have to be so simple? For as complicated as the events that lead there are, in the end it’s a simple game. We have some amount of control, and that’s about it. There’s this whole idea of putting yourself out there that I never quite got. I thought if I could control myself I could control the world around me, but it doesn’t work like that. I can force myself to run 10 miles, or touch a door knob an even number of times, and be in control of that. The bigger picture has a lot more variables, and it’s hard to admit how little control we have over so many things. We just have to control what we’re able to.
With all that, what am I trying to say? What have I been saying for the last few years on this site? My life is great by so many metrics, and I say over and over how thankful I am. But sometimes I don’t feel as thankful as I should be, because there is this huge missing gap of music at the center of my life. This is the result of many factors out of my control, but also many that were, which I must recognize. I do plan to make some changes to the site this next year. It has looked the same for quite a while, so we could all benefit from a change of view. I’ve also been thinking about integrating a Twitter feed (@dggb) to the front page and update more from there since I feel I have more fleeting one-liners than discussion articles currently. But most importantly, I will get together a live show, and do whatever it takes to get a quality lineup of musicians to perform the music I have written. The last one was now three years ago – it’s about time, yes?
Here’s to a happy and blessed 2016 for all of you, I hope to share more music and words with you than ever before.